i'm kind of glum today, even though the sun is shining, this is the only time i'm down when the sun's out, but i guess i have a reason to be. irrational, yes. i guess it's just the feeling of being alone, all the time. the room just darkened as i said that. get in there pathetic fallacy. i've been telling myself i'm fine by myself, but i have so much i need to talk about, and i don't really have people i can talk to, so i just talk to myself in my head. but there's only so much you can say before you have to actually speak to someone else. i don't even need a boyfriend as such, not even a friend. just someone i can actually speak to and mean what i say, because 80% of the time i'm lying or feeling awkward. call yourself an open person, maria :|
sad things aside, i've had a good past two days. i have midnight communion today because it's easter. i've been so good. LMAO. i'm going to burn in hell. if there is a hell, which i'm pretty sure there isn't. it's kind of weird how people can't accept that there is nothing after death, it's so logical, and sorry, but whoever suggests otherwise is delirious and in strong denial.
i'm feeling better now. i just have to tell myself some things and i feel neutral again. i think i've managed to completely control my feelings now, which is kind of cool
i really need to do something productive with my time, but if you don't feel like doing something, you can't just make yourself do something, so i'll just wait for the urge to do something
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