oh, you pretty things

allow no-one blogging anymore. well i may just have to, i wonder who still reads hmm. haven't blogged in a while actually. as you can probably expect, nothing interesting is going on in my life right now. i'm going to a party tomorrow. and the day after. that's about it. i will most probably be sober for both because i am now a boring person.

i'm feeling very negative and annoyed right now. maybe i'm tired, even though i can't sleep. it's kind of horrible, feeling so tired but then not sleeping. it's probably something to do with reading Poe before i go to sleep and seeing all sorts of fucked up things because of that. heh. but i sound so down, of course, i'm not. i haven't actually been sad for a long, long time. melancholy and lethargic, maybe. but i think they can be happy too. i'm ok right now because i don't care about anything really.

if all goes well i'm getting snug pierced tomorrow. IF ALL GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN and i look sixteen. lol. if not i'll just have to get plain old cartilage for now

uh i love dinosaur jr. and kasabian right now. i have misjudged kasabian. i placed them in the bland indie section with the enemy etc. actually, they're really good. LSF, love love love. oh and these new puritans. i actually knew about them ages ago when they were unheard of. i don't even know how. orion, attack music, we want war mmm.

and i also love um, nose piercings. everyone has told me not to do it, so i'll just do it later, in the summer holiday or something

what do i love at the moment? not much. south park. i don't love anyone. that's sad.

my hate list spans on for kilometres. i'm not even joking

what do i hate at the moment?

flowers. on 97% of people. because they're cool everyone's wearing them now. they're wearing them wrong too, and they don't even look nice. i sound pretentious when i say this but i wore them first. well, before they were cool. burn.

one day, someone's going to look at me, and say, hey you're copying so and so, you're wearing a flower in your hair. i will personally kill the person who says that.

i watch too much grumpy old men/women. it's really not good for all my anger

it's because of the weather too. it's been raining for three days in a row. it makes me miserable

wow i've been using a lot of short sentences today

ok anyway, it's the easter holidays tomorrow. i'm dreading it actually. to be honest, i think a week is enough, i'll be scared of not having anything to do.

i'm stuck forever in your mind

i take an abnormal interest in people. you know those moments when you're like: wow, and you just feel like, a sudden rush of, love? for them. no, not love, intense interest and wonder. i don't know. i've had that today. i get it with cartoon characters too LOL. i'm currently making it my aim to watch every single episode of south park ever. i love it so much. and yes, it is funny.

it was a lovely day today and on my way home i decided that instead of making sure i look at every little thing and appreciate it and scrutinize it that i'll just let my mind flow and walk home, and it was lovely. it's nice just to listen to general noise. there never is silence, because even silence has a noise.

i just wrote out my whole to do list but it came up with a lot of annoying html writing

that's really, really annoying

this monkey's gone to heaven

another bored, lethargic sunday post. i was thinking, i wish sunday didn't exist. but then, saturday would be like sunday. so i guess it's necessary.

i pierced my third hole in my right ear yesterday, and attempted my second in my left ear for the FIFTH time. the FIFTH time. i hate that ear with a passion.

This weekend I haven't achieved much, i've redone my wall and tidied it and made it look nice. i found a nice little container that i keep tea bags in, so i now have a teapot, and tea bags, and tea cups in my room, and i can just bring my teapot upstairs and drink and make it in my room :)

i also found little things to just put in my room, like a tambourine heh. i really like my room, i'm proud of it.

I did go out on friday actually, so i'm not completely anti social. i was responsible (sort 0f) yet again. "getting drunk" has lost its appeal, anyway. i don't even like alcohol, and i'll just end up doing stupid things, not even fun stupid things, just stupid things. anyway, i won't remember anything, and i always have moments that i remember a year later and smile. i have those a lot. just now, i remembered my holiday in romania, when our family+cousin's family all went and had a barbeque in the middle of the mountain. i love romania, and hopefully this summer, i'll be going minus my parents to the beach with cousins and people. the sky is absolutely magical there

Yesterday i got the urge to write, so i wrote a long list of all the different stereotypes. it's quite offensive and racist, and if i put it up here people would probably get upset LOL. i was looking through a facebook group that was similar, but about a mixed american school. i think i was the awkward person: "this persons always mumbling and fiddling and is a mess." hehh

yeah anyway i'm off to, uh, waste my day

i love you sugar kane

i can finally listen to music again, and i've been catching up on music. downloaded more of the drums WHO I WILL BE SEEING LIVE (hopefully). more xx, pete doherty's album which is BEAUTIFUL and marina's album which i've been wanting to for ages. it didn't fail to disappoint, i love every song. i really don't understand how ellie goulding won the brit and not her. oh and ke$ha. guilty pleasure, i know. her tunes are just so infectious and i love her style + look.

we had parent's evening today. it's funny listening to everyone panic about how mrs so and so HATES them and they're going to get SUCH a bad report, when they're perfect studious nonsuch girls with studious nonsuch friends who never forget to give in their homework and say they don't revise when they've spent about a week revising. now, i'm not trying to sound baddamanz and insinuate that i get bad reports all the time, it's just annoying from a person who is generally worse than school than them to hear them lament over how their english teacher told them off for talking that very day. funny though, they all said i was very "bright" and asked good questions. that's all i can do really, ask questions and think a lot. i can't write to save my life, which i thought i could previously do. but i don't make any effort/don't focus/have a bad attitude etc. i could if i tried but my heart's not in it, and i don't think it will ever be. I'll probably fail my GCSEs and my whole life from lack of effort. so, studious nonsuchians, unless you actually have a problem don't whine for no reason.

I'm aware i'm being hypocritical because i complain too, but this is one thing i can safely say i don't whine about for no reason. i need to stop saying "i feel fat" because that's practically the same situation. i don't genuinely think i'm fat, just for clarification. i just want to preserve my current weight and i'm increasingly paranoid about being fat. and i love it when bones show so if i want to lose weight it's for that alone

new love grows on trees

this is reminding me of pete doherty and making me feel even worse. everyone apart from me saw him on friday

i'm blogging in the morning which i don't usually do, but i have a day of absolutely nothing in front of me and jack all to do now

alice in wonderland is an awful film, it gives me pain to admit. it has got to be tim burton's worst film. the plotline is predictable, alice is a terrible actor, the storyline is mucked up, and the script is absolutely awful. johnny depp though, as always, was amazing.

after i saw that i went to one of those "piss ups" and nearly went mad so i had to leave. i wasn't even drunk like most other people. i just hated everything in the world at that second and felt intensely sad. i haven't felt that sad in a good few months. i can't really explain it. i've completely lost any socialising skill that i used to have, but i just don't see the point in idle chatter with the same people. i have a lot of fun on my own sometimes. i liked walking back home. when you're not in a rush and you're practically alone with the stagnant world there's so much you can do. you can sit down anywhere you want, for however long you want. i sat in the field and it was lovely and quiet and open and still, and i realised how fun it is to walk down streets in the dark on your own. it's not scary, quite the contrary actually. you can step however loud you want, you can dance all the way down the streets and you can shout at the top of your voice. i had one of those moments, you know, when you realise how real everything is and how much you can really do.

people have probably seen the paris pictures on facebook and i can't really be bothered. i like these two, courtesy of anoushka. she told me to tell everyone when they asked if she was good at photography, i was meant to say amazing. so uh, she's amazing

back from paris, mes amis

as you can expect, i had a lovely time.
pictures and more to come my friends
i've been in england for two hours and i hate everybody already, lulz

i can't even put lyrics here because i can't listen to music and nothing springs to mind

it's an awful shame.
for the past two days i have been working incessantly
i'm about to pierce my third hole in my left ear, but i can't because i have too much work
god, my life is so BAD
read that out loud and you'll see i'm being sarcastic
but you can't really do that over computer
i haven't written in what seems to be a while; in truth it's probably a week or so.
erm, what's going on in your life, maria? you may be asking yourself
fear not, i can tell you if you really want to know
i joined the gym today. i had an induction. my body fat perecentage is above average. i officially hate my body all over again.
i bought new pretty things on sunday. i think it's because my mum felt guilty because she screamed at me and slapped me round the face, heehee. i now have a beret, for france (apparently no-one in france even wears berets), lace leggings which i have been wanting for ages, fabulous new shoes and lots of different coloured earrings. i just realised that most countries are identified with ancient things that no one ever does anymore. people say everyone moving everywhere and introducing culture is a good thing, but the true identification of most countries has died, and all countries are just becoming a mix of each other. sort of like when you have loads of different coloured paints on a tray, but then you just mix them ALL together and they make a sludgy brown colour, does that make sense?
I always go off track, but that's pretty much it.
hmm, i'm at loss for what to say, and i need to do yet more work
i have no idea where it all came from