when they get what they want, they never want it again

haven't posted in a while. truth be told, nothing interesting's been going on. nothing interesting usually does go on: acknowledged. Life's kind of ok, for me. Before that, can i tell you how much i love hole at the moment? i don't care if people say courtney love is a bitch; she's amazing. and i've been reading a lot at the moment: I just finished brave new world; amazing, inspiring book. opened a lot of windows for me, thought-wise. I do realise that my abundant sprinkling of semi-colons and colons is probably incorrect, by the way. Yeah anyway, now I'm reading pride and prejudice. I actually really, really like it: I didn't think I would. I find myself warming to the characters, and the way they behave in that time is fascinating.

OK, anyway, anyway, today has been a weird day. I don't know what i've been feeling really, and it's passed in a bit of a blur. I said to myself I'd remember this day, because people always forget days, and each day is as important as each other. Oh i don't really know, I just felt something. Yeah anyway, i got lectured by the head of languages, because I was "rude" to a supply teacher. Can I say, this SUPPLY teacher actually said to me: you think you're so clever. and, highly affronted, i retorted back. but to be honest, who wouldn't? yeah and I heard teachers bitching about me: they really have nothing better to do. I hope I don't become a teacher, having to pretend to care about the well-being of little shits I really don't care about and having to be kind to fellow colleagues. I listen to them talking to each other; it makes me wince. I really hope i don't have to do that. yeah anyway i had a detention; awfully tedious. walked to cheam in the dark. I felt happy again: nature is really beautiful in the dark. Especially the trees, and how the iridescent street lights reflect onto them and their shadow on the ground, and how their silhouette is shown against it. oh i don't know i can't say it, words float around my mind then but can't arrange themselves properly. but simple things like breathing the cold air and looking at every tree makes me feel happy to be alive. Then I got on the bus and loads of sad looking people wearing raincoats were sitting probably thinking about sad things. I really can't stand raincoats, i know. the dark green ones from millets drive me over the edge. But anyway, that sure ruined my mood. I got less depressed soon though; walking through sutton and listening to snippets of conversations: "WHY DON'T YOU BECOME A FULL TIME DAD THEN, I'VE FUCKING HAD IT, DON'T FUCKING TELL ME I CAN'T WORK." coming from a 19-year old sharp, angry chav with dyed blonde hair, to a moronic 19 year-old looking boy chav with a monotonous, dull voice. oh and can i say, what REALLY makes me laugh is poseur skater boys who can't skate, who are about ten. they're always in sutton. i see them attempting still jumps and shit skateboarding tricks. I failed when i was that age. maybe i fail now, i don't know. but still; SO FUNNY

yeah anyway taliho, i've probably spoken a lot of rubbish. but then again, everyone thinks they speak a load of rubbish.