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i just had a lie in until 1 o clock, and then decided to go on an eating binge, so now i feel ill, and fat, and thoroughly disenheartened. Anyway, I realised telling people about my day isn't what a blog should be, so time for changes.

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i have nothing to write about that more than one million people are doing already.

I tried to start a journal recording all the thoughts I ever have, yesterday. But that's already failed, and i'm going to proceed to rip it up.

I do nothing with my life. Nothing.

I don't even "party" anymore.

I just waste away with thoughts that no-one wants to hear, and evidently i don't want to hear them either. I don't see the point in doing anything any more, because, if you really think about it, everything we do is to achieve our own personal eudaimonia, or in other words happiness. Like Aristotles said, there's no reason why we should want it, and if you dissect it it's nothing more than a feeling. And I can't feel happiness, or contentedness anymore, well, for no longer than a few seconds. I can't explain this, see, it doesn't sound right at all. I'm not even feeling sad, just pathetic that I can't understand or feel anything. And the thought of that should make me sad, but it doesn't. So i'm just going to float in and out of time, with everyone else who takes everything in, has everything done for them, and never puts anything out. I just feel apathetic about all this, because there's nothing else I can feel. Only very few people have the power to make me feel sad anymore, and I think I'm secretly wishing they'd make me sad, because I haven't felt that in ages and I want to feel it. I think they could make me happy, too, but I've stopped waiting for that to come, because I know it won't, it never will, and everything I've ever thought about THAT matter has been wishful thinking. I've stopped waiting for anything to happen, and I refuse to live on my tiptoes, waiting for something to occur which never, ever will.

So, with all the appropriate feelings, I resign to live in this new way, of no feelings or regard. It would be nice for something to happen, but I'm not sad that it won't.