time's frozen, and i can't really remember how long it has been for, and there is absolutely no reason why i should be alive right now. i am doing nothing with my life, except complying with other people, being bitter, and waking up every morning and living the same thing over and over again. the constant repetition and dullness makes it seem like nothing, and days are blurring as i'm just idly hanging around, waiting for something interesting to happen. people say i should bring that about myself by making more of an effort socially, but i'd rather have no friends at all than have to be fake and bum people, and hang out with people i don't even like. so it looks like i'm going to be doing shit all this half term. i like about fourty people i know in my little corner of the world at the moment, and most of them don't really like me. anyway, despite all this i find i still can't give a shit, and whatever wants to happen i'll feel the same way about it. which is sort of cool, ish. anyway, after ages of living blandly, when something really colourful comes along, the colours will be even sharper and contrasting, and it will be much nicer to look at.
all of that aside, i'm going to actually do something this half term, so i'm going to write a to do list.
right, uh
1. find some meaning in life, whether be it by talking to people, or reading or whatever
2. try harder to read a brief history of time. also try and read some classics, shakespeare, hardy, etc
3. sort out my music. fix my ipod, get into the position where i can download music again, and organise my ipod library.
4. learn at least three more songs WELL on the ukulele
5. watch many more influential films. and a lot of old school horror films, they're usually the best.
6. Go out at least three times
7. Dye my hair red
8. finish decorating my room, get more posters for my other wall and find some pretty things at various markets etc to make it look nicer
9. have a maz and soph day
10. write something. poetry, whatever.
11. do something crazy
12. get second hole in my left and third hole in my right ear
13. make more friends
14. change attitude towards everyone and see good things in them. ahem
15. find someone who i can relate to on every level, effectively a "boyfriend" "friend with benefits," whatever, but i don't like those terms
16. make a proper diet plan, with plenty of exercise, and preferably a under-1000 calorie intake
17. go for a walk and rediscover the beauty of the countryside and cold british air
18. buy a lot of new clothes
and at least try and be happy. hmmmmmmmm
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment